Why I Am Awesome: An Ongoing List

This is a list of stuff that I wrote a while ago.... I wanted to save it to somewhere so that I might actually see it again in the future..... I may or may not post a few of these in the next little while as I uncover them

1. My favorite animals are giraffes.... I LOVE THEM!!!!
2. I hate bunnies... except for Jackie Chan
3. I dislike ingesting almost anything that breathes water
4. I love Disney princesses
5. I know almost every word to "Still Alive," the ending credit song of Portal
6. Bubbly is an awesome word... just say it 5 times fast and you will see
7. I have seen every single one of the original Pokemon episodes
8. I still have a Yu-Gi-Oh card collection
9. I know how to play Magic- The Gathering
10. I suck at all video games
11. I am techtarded
12. I used to date a deaf model
13. I have been stung over 20 times by jellyfish
14. The number of bones I have broken is in the double digits
15. None of those were broken when I fell down a mountain
16. I have a very deep respect for gravity
17. I am obsessed with fat people shows... Biggest Loser=
18. I love pumpkin pie (well all pie), pumpkin rolls, pumpkin cookies....
19. When I get excited or frustrated I tend to have an accent
20. I am an anthropology major, which means I am certifiably crazy
21. I hate my hair color in the winter so I dye it... but my hair color is all natural most other seasons
22.I was born blonde
23. I like dark chocolate better than all other chocolate
24. My favorite movie is V for Vendetta
25. I have been diagnosed OCD... but I have been practicing and I am almost NORMAL now!!!!
26. Chunky Monkey ice cream is the bees knees.
27. I was in the Naval JROTC program in high school and it was the best experience of my life
28. I am very bad at filtering my thoughts....
29. I think that half of the world lacks a mental pulse... though I do not exclude myself from this group, and its members are constantly changing....
30. I enjoy banana and mayo sandwiches.... do not knock it till you've tried it.
31. I still cannot pronounce the word Cinnamon
32. I constantly have a stream of songs running through my head
33. My current favorite movie quote is "Oh, spite!... Oh!... HELL!!!!" from A Mid-Summer Nights Dream
34. I absolutely adore my roommates
35. I find that it is impossible for me too pick a favorite pie, song, color, artist, etc.....

Confidence Boost?... I think YES

Just for kicks and giggles I got out my "goal pants".....All my girls should know what I mean. (For guys, they are a pair of pants that sit in about every females closet in hopes that they might one day fit.) Anyways, I tried them on just for kicks. Lo and behold, they fit! I didn't even have to do the skinny dance to get them on. YAY!!!!!! And just to brag a bit... they are size 3. <3 <3 <3


Who cares if I suck on all my finals after this!

I stole this... but it was worth it just so anyone who reads my blog will have contact with this

10 Things 90s Kids Will Have To Explain To Their Children

While most things we experienced as tots in that headiest of eras seems pretty self-explanatory (plaid was everywhere, Leonardo DiCaprio was the molten ball of light around which the solar system turned, and there was no color too bright for your sweatpants) there are some things that will be a bit harder to explain. Here, a primer for when your future children want to know what the hell you were doing with your boxy, multicolored electronics.

Nov. 23, 2011

By Chelsea Fagan

1. Topanga was at some point in human history considered not only a legitimate first name for a human being, but the kind of name that would inspire in malleable teenage boys a life-long infatuation. Topanga, in our day, was leading lady name-material. Topanga (pronounced Tah-payne-ga, for those who will have only ever seen in it written down) is the name of the quintessential girl-next-door who will live, along with Feeney, in our hearts forever.
2. At some point, we carried around little plastic eggs with tiny screens on them — in these screens lived our hearts, our pets, our raison d’etre, our very own Tamagotchi. We loved them, we listened to their tiny electronic screams of malnourishment, and we occasionally forgot to pick up their poop for long enough that they died a tortured, poop-filled death. They were perhaps our first foray into the life-consuming world of electronics and self-absorption, later to be fully manifested by Facebook.
3. The black Power Ranger was black and the yellow Power Ranger was Asian because…we were so completely ahead of our time and beyond the capacity to even think in terms of something as inconsequential as race that… uh… I don’t know. Casting directors were racist in the nineties.
4. Long before he was spending his days foisting his mediocre children on us, Will Smith was actually the perfect human specimen. He also undoubtedly holds some world record for saving the world the most times while simultaneously delivering flawless catchphrases and giving cool guy nods to the camera. The Men In Black rap song, at the time, was created and received by the public without the slightest trace of irony. Really. He was that good.
5. In some inevitable shift of the time-space continuum in which James Cameron continues to rob humanity of all that is good and sacred in this world, Fern Gully will be known as that movie that ripped off Avatar. It will be up to us to crusade for what is right. It is up to us to explain that Fern Gully was not only a predecessor to Avatar, but far better, in that it contained both Tim Curry as a singing pile of molasses and Robin Williams rapping about animal testing in the pharmaceutical industry. (As a side note, if you have not recently listened to the full lyrics of the “Batty Rap,” I recommend you do, as they are horrifying.)
6. A neighborhood boy who completely disregards your family and puts a ladder directly under the teenage girl’s window to climb up at his discretion is not only acceptable, it’s charming. It’s the kind of stuff that would make said family take the ladder boy under their wing and into their heart. The nineties were a simpler time, one where we didn’t have to worry about things like breaking and entering. Clarissa today would have steel bars on the inside of her window and her father would continually remind her that the next-door boy with his ladder and his touchy hands have no place in his household.
7. Though on the surface, they are the exact same thing in every conceivable way, whether you liked The Backstreet Boys or N*SYNC said more about your character than all of the terrible macaroni art you could ever make for your child psychologist. Essentially, liking *NSYNC meant you liked Justin Timberlake, as he was clearly the Seabiscuit in that race from the get-go. You even liked him with his terrible, icy-blond mini-fro. Liking the Backstreet Boys gave you a bit more of a cultured palate, as there was no clear Diana in those Supremes. Nick was kind of the wholesome, if northern-Florida-redneck safe choice (save for his humiliating younger brother, Aaron). Brian was the shy, sensitive type. AJ was the hottt, dangerous meth addict. Kevin Richardson was mute with sexy, sculpted facial hair. No one liked Howie. Choosing between the two groups was like choosing between two beloved children, but once that line was crossed–there was no going back.
8. “I wanna really really really wanna zig a zig ahh,” has a meaning, and all true nineties kids know it, but we must never share it. Like the Illuminati, it must remain between us, the keyholders. With great power comes great responsibility.
9. Lisa Frank is not the name of a woman, it is the name of a movement, a culture, a way of living. It is a theory, a concept, a belief in something greater than yourself. It is the belief that all girls are entitled to dolphins covered with rainbows, jewel-encrusted frogs, and unicorns in acid-trip colors hugging each other. It is the ideology that no notebook is complete until it literally hurts your eyes to look at from so much color saturation. It is the hope that no school supply, no matter how insignificant, will be left un-bedazzled. It is the knowledge that your eraser cap, and that of your granddaughter’s, and her granddaughter’s after her, will not be some boring little nub–it will be a diamond covered with butterflies in a rainbow of colors. It is the dream of a better tomorrow.
10. Incredibly depressing women in Indiana covered in cats and glass figurines they buy at The Hallmark Store used to troll the web 1.0 to invest thousands of dollars in tiny stuffed animals filled with plastic beans. That happened. Beanie Babies were not just significant, they were the first example most of us had of envy, greed, and wrath. If someone messed up that little heart-shaped Ty tag, so help you God, that was the end of whatever contact you had with that monster of a human being. That tag-less Beanie Baby was now trash, and you had to deal with the consequence. It was at that moment, that de-valued Beanie Baby moment, that most of us accepted the truth… we’ll never have nice things.

Suck

I realized last week that it had been over a year since I last posted in my blog. I thought to myself, I really suck at this. That's okay though, because I made a list of 50 things in life that suck. Enjoy!


1 Black holes
2 headaches
3 research projects
4 Having to hold your tongue when you have a beautifully witty response just dying to be said
5 Socks with holes in them
6 Saddles that are harnessed wrong
7 Dental appointments
8 Post Its that don't stick
9 Vacuums
10 Psychotic relatives
11 Tiny papercuts that you can't see
12 School
13 Brittany Spears Music
14 Boys, not all of them, but I am frustrated with the vast majority
15 The result of Stephanie trying to cook boxed food
16 Stupid people
17 When someone makes a movie out of your favorite book/musical/play and they totally ruin it
18 Trampoline jumpers with motion sickness
19 Being forced to watch a movie that sucks
20 Puzzle books with the answers ripped out
21 Waking up to every muscle in your body being sore
22 Dropping a table on your foot and having to continue to work
23 Babies- they suck for survival
24 Getting a tattoo and discovering the the words are spelled wrong
25 Brussel Sprouts
26 Exploding pop cans
27 PMS
28 Suckers
29 Forgetting to tun off the alarm clock Friday night, and then being needlessly woken up at 6am on a Saturday
30 Zombies- they suck your brains
31 New England Patriots
32 Being forced to wear an obnoxious orange jumpsuit for protection, and then it doesn't work and you end up dying in an obnoxious orange jumpsuit
33 Astro turf
34 Walking around in public after using the restroom and being told you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants
35 The laundry gnome
36 Scratching your sunburn
37 Stepping on something wet with bare feet, or just after putting fresh socks on
38 Smoke alarms that go off while you are in the shower, so you streak to go press the button to get it to stop, only to find out that it doesn't have a button so you have to rush to find a towel so your roommate doesn't walk in on you nakedly fighting with a piece of flawed technology
39 Homework that you stay up really late doing and then you find out that it is not due
40 Hummingbirds- they are very talented suckers
41 Octopi
42 Sporks- unless they are titanium, cause then they are awesome
43 having an episode of you favorite show end with "to be continued..."
44 Pop- cause it is so delicious but you can't drink it without feeling guilty
45 Sneezing when your mouth is full of Jello
46 The river Suck in Ireland
47 Finals week
48 climbing up a street lamp, discovering you are stuck and can't get down, and then having to call the university police to get you down
49 Having to hike in soggy tennis shoes
50. Vampires- they suck you blood, except for the Cullens, but they just suck in general

Lack of filter....

Yesterday:

When walking home from the testing center I encountered a guy who had a strikingly weird look on his face. I failed to notice that my brain was so strongly attached to my mouth until I said "Wow, you must have been slapped with the stupid stick on both cheeks!" The guy mentally came back to earth and asked "What?"
I quickly retracted my word vomit by stating " I didn't say anything..." and hurried away.

Today:

While in an anthropology group meeting, the only guy in our group exclaimed, "Wait! It just disappeared!"
To which I replied, "That is the point of pressing delete."
His cheeks flushed a bright shade of red as he realized the stupidity of his remark.
I sat quietly, slightly ashamed of my rude remark.
The rest of my group turned different shades of red, while laughing at the previously mentioned exchange.

Scared Sh!#less

So, I was walking home from campus at 9:22 pm. It was pitch black... and in the past I had a wonderful accident that left me night blind..... Anyways, back to the spooky tale.
When walking home alone, in the dark, I am acutely aware that I am a girl and, therefore, seemingly easy prey. So I act responsibly. While singing along to my ipod at the top of my lungs, I constantly check my surroundings to ensure that I am not being followed, or about to walk into an ambush of some sort. I walked by the stadium, and on the north end, took the small path between the stadium and three pine trees. To the left of that path, there is a concrete wall that, at night, seems so long and dark that it must be an entrance into the underworld. While walking through the path I suddenly noticed a dark figure rushing towards me on my left side. As my heart seemingly stopped beating, I, being startled yelled an unacceptable curse word and began to run away fromthe figure.

I then realized that the dark entity was not one of Satan's minions, but my own shadow, who was rushing to catch up with me. Apparently she is afraid of the dark as well...

Photo Fun!

So today's theme was updating pictures that have been locked on my camera for a while now. In between reading a massive amount for my religion class, photo editing was what I did for fun today!

 

Meet Herman and Melvin!They are cousins.... can you see the family resemblance?

 

Yep... This is how my family spends time... We teach the younger members how to rope... This is Mikayla's first session, and we are so proud. Isn't she a natural?

 

And this is the grand finale!!!! This wonderfully intelligent entity spent at least forty-five minutes licking the door frame.... I know this because that is at least how long I spent at the Giraffe exhibit..... and twenty of those forty-five minutes were spent intently observing this ritual. Whilst I was unfailingly enthralled, Brenton was most likely bored, annoyed, and befuddled as to why such action was captivating to an educated individual.... It is no wonder why that relationship did not last. Seriously? Just Look at this beautiful creature and tell me that this is not the most amusing thing you have seen.